Theory Thursday

Theory Thursday

Good morning beloveds,

I hope you all made it through the rain, kept yourself protected and kept your point of view.* Today on theory thursday, your professor has prepared a lecture on a little something called “colonialism”.  I could cite a crapload of super boring books, or explain it to you all scientifically-impartial-like, but by now you have realized that that isn’t what the Free University of Important Knowledge is putting down.  So, I’ll let Professor Eddie Izzard and his sexy, sexy lipstick explain it for you:

Pretty much historically if you’re a white man-dude in olden current times, you can take ownership of everything you like. View MittfuckingRomney** who looks pretty gosh-darn-surprised and pouty that he can’t get elected simply by being a rich white dude.  He also loves to lie and lie and lie whenever his lips are moving.  He’s awakened the sleeping giant that is the UAW, etc.  I sort of don’t like him, and would like to smack the privilege right out of him with my riding crop, and then ride off into the beautiful sunset on Rafalca.  That’d learn him.  I might even turn back around, give Rafalca a little nudge and jump right over him.  Because that poor little disco horse has got to be DYING to gallop and jump.

Colonialism is also why countries like the good ole U.S. of A. (which I still love in my heart, I just can’t help it. Play me “This Land is Your Land” and I cry like a little baby.) Like to do things like “spread democracy” all over the place by taking places over and blowing lots of shit up and then establishing a puppet dictatorship newly elected government.  Especially we like to do it without learning much about the culture, tribes, and or religion of the area.  It’s super duper fun for the generals and whatnots.

So, my beloveds, hopefully by now you are thinking “this colonialism is some seriously effed up shizz”.  Good on ya, beloveds.  It is.  There are some that throw around the term “post colonialist” like it’s something we’ve achieved and not something we need to fight for.

Well, beloveds, there are feminist days ahead,

In Lolaness,

Professor LPB

*yeah, I just quoted Barry motherfucking Manilow. Deal with it.  Dude can write a pop song.  Anyone who says they haven’t danced around their house and sung “Copacabana” at the top of their lungs while imagining a Carmen Miranda fruit basket hat on their head is lying.  Or wait. . .is that just me? Damn it.

**the election is soon, and yes I will curse his name until it.  If he’s elected, I will curse everyfuckingthing.

Bonus pop culture clicky:

You know what, I’m standing behind this as a top-notch-pop-schlock-power-ballad.  Just let it wash all over you and stop being all hipper than thou.  Good sanging, too.



Oh, just shut up and dance.


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