Good morning my beautiful and perhaps slightly soggy beloveds,
As your Professor eats her tasty and nourishing breakfast, she has been pondering what to tell you to put in your mouth. She has decided upon a delicacy from her motherland which has recently, along with her beloved Kentucky Bourbon, been suffering a bit from overexposure and hipsterification.
Brace yourselves, beloveds. It’s red velvet time. Red velvet is a chocolate/buttermilk cake enhanced by some chemically red food colouring. The chemicals aren’t important here. What’s important is you should put some red velvet cake in your mouth right now oh my god why aren’t you doing it yet? Although the frosting that the esteemed Professor of foodology suggests in the sheet cake recipe is quite tasty, I suggest a cream cheese frosting if you really want to do it up nice. And for heaven’s sake do not use margarine instead of butter. Have I taught you nothing?
Maybe you are thinking: “But professor. Chewing is so much work.” In this cake your professor has a solution for you: red velvet hot chocolate.
Treat yo self.
Until tomorrow, be safe and stay dry,
BONUS PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTH ADVICE FOR MY GTA PEEPS!
It’s in all caps because it’s exciting. Take your hungry and fine collective azz over to Wanda’s Pie in the Sky and order up an americano and a cinnamon roll. Because, oh. my. god. It’s like a whole new food. Complex magic in your mouth. Do it. Do it now.