Happy Thursday, beloveds.
Today we’re going to talk about a little something called “industrial complexes”. This term is widely credited to noted
hippie pinko commie Republican President Dwight D. Eisenhower. You can read his entire farewell speech if you like, it’s very prescient and worth a look-see.
Two industrial complexes that I have recently come to truly, truly loathe are what I (and probably others) call the “beauty industrial complex” and the “fashion industrial complex”. These are both multi-gazillion dollar industries. Now, your professor isn’t going to lie to you, my beloveds. As you already well know, your prof has a weakness for pretty dresses of all persuasions, loves shiny objects and owns a tube (or sixteen) of lipstick, and what may actually be a criminal amount of nail polish and nail polish parephanelia. However, I have realized/recognized something in recent years. When I feel super-awesome-good about my own fabulousness, I don’t feel the desire to go out and purchase fakeulousness. Open any fashion magazine, and really look at it. The over-arching message of them is all the same: “you’re not good enough”. Here are some popular headlines and the dialogue they create in my head:
“Lose ten pounds in two weeks!” — oh my god you are so fat that your clothes don’t even hang off of you. stop eating, seriously, stawp.
“What you need to buy this season!” –the only way to fulfillment is a fuller closet and a smaller chequing account.
“How to please your man!” — the only way to fulfillment is to find a man and please him, denigrating your own desires
Why not replace all of that crap with these simple messages:
Fuck dieting. Seriously. I used to follow the “stop eating, seriously, stawp.” voice. I did. I weighed about twenty pounds less than I do now, I was complimented CONSTANTLY due to the weight loss and I was a total. friggin. wreck. I had no patience, no endurance, no stamina. Food terrified me. Then, one day, I decided to eat what I wanted, in a single portion (this was due to a serious history of binge eating), whenever I wanted it. I ate cupcakes for lunch. I discovered that cupcakes didn’t make me feel as good as real, honest, whole food. I sought out exercise that celebrated my body just as it is. I was happy and free in my own skin. The diet-industrial complex is against you. Trust me. Boycott it. Burn. It. Down.
Style over Fashion. Now, your professor adores clothes, beloveds. Fashion is all about someone else’s idea of what is “hip” or “in”. Why not instead find clothes that fit your body, clothes that feel nice on your body and clothes that embrace your own individual fabulousnesses? You do you, from your head down to your shooooooes.
Radical self-love. The most revolutionary act that anyone can do is love themselves. Loving yourself is the ultimate in badassery. This is your professor’s firm opinion. The advertising industry as a whole exists to fill a hole in you that can’t be filled except with self-acceptance. If you love yourself, know your own fabulousness, you win. Imagine all the extra money you might have to read books or something with. I already love you unconditionally just as you are, so now do it to yourself. (wink!)
So, beloveds, start having “industrial complex” awareness. It will piss off the man to no end, beloveds.
One further takeaway: buy yourself some coconut oil. Put it everywhere.
In natural non-toxic moisturizedness and love of self,
*note that I don’t endorse Dove or especially its parent company unilever, which also produces those fabulously
feminist disgusting and terrible Axe body spray ads. Still and all, I think this is a useful visual tool.