Ooooooh, beloveds. . .the world is just a hot buttered mess of “WHAT?!” right now. In fact, your Professor is just about to sprain her palate with so much ejective consonanting from really pronouncing that final “t”.
So, today, regrettably it’s a smorgasbord of “WHAT?!” that your professor is serving for her beloveds. So much “what?!” to choose from, be sure you eat your gravlax, too.
What?! the first, alternately titled “Why Won’t Akin just shut his pie hole?” I wish this sexist, ignorant mofo would just plain old stop talking. Now he has compared his female opponent to a dog. Because that’s civic discourse. Here’s the whole quote:
“She goes to Washington, D.C. and it’s a little bit like one of those dogs, you know ‘fetch,’ and she goes to Washington, D.C. and gets all of these taxes and red tape and bureaucracy and executive orders and agencies and she brings all of this stuff and dumps it on us in Missouri,”
Say it with me, beloveds: WHAT?! Alright, without even addressing the obvious reprehensibility of comparing your opponent to a “dog”, isn’t part of a senator’s job description to bring federal mandates home with them? In the interest of that whole “more perfect Union, establish Justice and insure domestic Tranquility,etc”? Or maybe Todd Akin has his own constitution, the contents of which I cannot explore here. You know what? Fuck Todd Akin.
Next up, Ann Coulter. You know what, fuck her too. I try to not actually hate people, and to recognize that their mean words come from a sad little place of ignorance and that what they do when they’re not being professional bullies is sit in a corner and cry because they hate themselves so much, but I hate every single word that comes out of this terrible person’s mouth. You know what else I hate? Using “insults” based on 1. an outdated an ignorant term. and/or 2. insulting a group of people using said ignorant term. Coulter live tweeted the debate just like your professor did. Here’s a gem:
“I highly approve of Romney’s decision to be kind and gentle to the retard.”
First off, I’m just going to assume that she meant to insult the MOTHERFUCKING PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA WHO DESERVES A LITTLE RESPECT. This is just lame. Now, I pretty much use direct, surgical attacks when I want to call someone ignorant. Someone, who, like Mitt Romney, have very little apparent knowledge of how the military works, or where the hell Iran and Syria are on the map, or doesn’t remember an editorial he wrote. You can’t say that you didn’t say “let Detroit go bankrupt”, when you wrote an editorial entitled “Let Detroit Go Bankrupt”. Governor Romney, we have this thing called the internet. It lasts FOREVER. Ann Coulter, you are ignorant. Willfully ignorant, and you make a lot of money off being an ignorant, cruel, naughty, bad, bad person. Please go away.
There’s more, beloveds, so much more. But your professor has but one riding crop, so that is all she can “what?!” for you today.
Until tomorrow, when we scratch our grey matter,
In a desire to remove ignorance from the world by any means necessary,
Your meditation of the day: