Greetings and the happiest of Fridays to you, beloveds!
It’s come to this, your professor must address the United States politics. Because, well, there is a decidedly un-feminist candidate running. His name, in your professor’s world is MittfuckingRomney, and he has angered your professor. You wouldn’t like your professor when she’s angry.
You most likely already know where this is going. It was the takeaway quote from the debate, and it was so perfect in its badness that no one can resist making fun of it. MittfuckingRomney has stated that he “loves laughter” so I hope he’s enjoying all the fun.
“Binders full of women”.
Let’s look at the extended version of the answer, because there is some super gourmet sexism in there. The kind that only comes from a lifetime of being marinated in rich white privelege. There’s a smokiness that hints at a country club, an earthiness that smells of a dressage horse stable and a slight musk that only comes from ascribing to a religious practice that denies women of choices.
CROWLEY: Governor Romney, pay equity for women?
ROMNEY: Thank you. And important topic, and one which I learned a great deal about, particularly as I was serving as governor of my state, because I had the chance to pull together a cabinet and all the applicants seemed to be men.
And I — and I went to my staff, and I said, “How come all the people for these jobs are — are all men.” They said, “Well, these are the people that have the qualifications.” And I said, “Well, gosh, can’t we — can’t we find some — some women that are also qualified?”
ROMNEY: And — and so we — we took a concerted effort to go out and find women who had backgrounds that could be qualified to become members of our cabinet.
I went to a number of women’s groups and said, “Can you help us find folks,” and they brought us whole binders full of women.
I was proud of the fact that after I staffed my Cabinet and my senior staff, that the University of New York in Albany did a survey of all 50 states, and concluded that mine had more women in senior leadership positions than any other state in America.
Now one of the reasons I was able to get so many good women to be part of that team was because of our recruiting effort. But number two, because I recognized that if you’re going to have women in the workforce that sometimes you need to be more flexible. My chief of staff, for instance, had two kids that were still in school.
She said, I can’t be here until 7 or 8 o’clock at night. I need to be able to get home at 5 o’clock so I can be there for making dinner for my kids and being with them when they get home from school. So we said fine. Let’s have a flexible schedule so you can have hours that work for you.
Christ on a cracker, so much terrible. And his horse can’t even jump, for goodness sake.
Let’s start at the beginning. He tidily turns the topic from equal pay (which he doesn’t support) to himself. People marinated in rich white male privelege are super good at this, by the way. “Good golly goshness magee! There might be ladies who are qualified to be smart governing people!” now, this sounds hopelessly ignorant, but bear in mind that during MittfuckingRomney’s time at Bain capital, there were no high ranking ladypeople executives. So, I might understand this bit of ignorance if it didn’t make my eye twitch so very, very much.
“I went to a number of women’s groups”. Nope, nope you did not. The binders (which were just a collection of resumes) were assembled by women’s groups before you were elected, and said groups had planned on presenting them to whomever won the gubernatorial election. Liar.
“Binders full of women”. This is so perfect. It serves to take women and stuff them in a binder. Not their resumes, or their work history or their recommendations, but instead objectified things, stuffed into a restrictive space. I don’t always think about semiotics, but when I do. . .my head explodes with rage.
The rest of the quote pulls a trifecta of oppression:
- All women are mothers.
- Mothers are the sole caretakers of their families (even if they have a partner)
- Get in the kitchen, woman! Make me dinner.
Your professor has a lot of words, but she doesn’t have any for this amount of barf. Throughout my adult life, I have been treated as a uterus. So have virtually all women in the “modern” medical system. Despite having made a decision to remain childless, I have been lectured by gynecologists (one even told me that not having children put me at more risk for cancer), gotten the “aw, what is wrong with you?” look from both men and women and been denied medical sterilization. I’m not knocking the decision to have babies. Babies are roly-poly and quite charming, what with their big eyes and heads and adorable ways. Families are awesome, too.
Perhaps in this day and age, MittfuckingRomney should know that a mandude’s testicles will not drop off if they boil some water. I have actually seen mandudes cook a meal, or take their daughters to hockey practice, or even vacuum. We live in the future.
So, beloveds, when you pick your candidate in this or any election, make sure you don’t vote for one who hates your rights. That is simply not what nice is. If you feel like a candidate has an agenda for your life that you don’t agree with, don’t vote for them. Easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy.
In burndownage of the plutopatriarchy,
 It is, beloveds. Sounds ignorant because it IS.