Happy Metric Thanksgiving, ya’ll.
Well, American beloveds, today is Canadian Thanksgiving, referred to by Canadians as “Thanksgiving”. One of the things that makes your professor feel very, very grateful is when she can put a cookie up in her mouth. Your professor realizes that perhaps cookies are not the best or most traditional dessert treat to eat on Thanksgiving, and although your professor is often grateful for pie, today we are going to talk about putting some cookies in your mouth. This is a gentle way to burn down the common paradigms about traditions and hierarchy of dessert. Some good life advice is you should really never say “no” to a cookie, beloveds. Life is short, so put some cookies in your mouth. Refrain from putting so many in your mouth that you get a stummy ache, but for the love of all that is nice, cookies. Always cookies.
First up, a recipe that is non-dairy and high in protein, and also is cookies. Behold:
note* this recipe is adapted from Clean Eating Magazine, which is pretty good if you like to put healthy things into your mouth between all the cookies and Bourbon.
However, beloveds you are going to make a very special substitution to this recipe. You are going to go to the store and purchase some spicy chocolate. The kind with some sort of delightful spiciness in it. If you are in the GTA, as many of my beloveds are, you should find some Choco Sol spicy chocolate. Choco Sol as a company is very, very nice. Pedal powered, fair trade chocolate that will change the way you conceptualize chocolate. http://chocosol.posterous.com/
In place of the chocolate chunks that the recipe calls for, chop up some spicy spicy chocolate and let the burninating begin. Your professor calls these Trogdor Cookies, in honour of this epic magnum opus:
Another cookie I like is a chocolate chip cookie that is backwards, in a way that subverts the dominant paridigm for chocolate chip cookies.
This is one that I’ve adapted from all of the place:
1 c butter (squishy/been out of the fridge for a bit/softened, whatevsies)
2 c sugar
2 tablespoons bourbon vanilla extract
2 cups whole wheat flour
3/4 cup cocoa powder
1 t baking soda
.5 t salt
big ole handful of white chocolate chips
mix liquids together, then gradually add in the dry ingredients, then throw in the chips and mix them about. scoop out onto cookie sheets, about a tablespoon at a time. I enjoy using parchment or silpat mats. If you utilize these items, you end up with only beautiful cookies. Everybody knows that an ugly cookie tastes just as good as a pretty one, but for ultimate niceness, what my beloveds should be after is pretty cookies. It’s important to put beauty into the world, internets. This is a challenge, so start with cookies. It will snowball from there, I assure you.
Put them in an oven at 350 for about 10-12 minutes. Cool them for 5-10 minutes, then put them in your mouth. There isn’t much better for putting in your mouth than a cookie what is fresh and soft and warm from the oven. Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice.
So, there you go, beloveds, two cookie recipes that are filled with deliciousness to put in your piehole. (Which, if you consult your professor, should really be called a cookiehole.) Use them on thanksgiving or whenever you feel grateful. Trying to be grateful as often as possible is super, super nice.
Until next time, beloveds,
please remember that cookie dough contains raw eggs,
but that shouldn’t stop you from eating it, because you have to go sometime of something and cookie dough is a face full of awesome,